Eulogy for Steve Pickett

April 30, 2005

By William E. Gregory

Look around. Oh my what a group!

We may be Friends-Together, but we are all Steve’s family. We are what Norman Rockwell should have painted for Thanksgiving. Of course, it would have scared the rest of America. I

know that all of you who know me are afraid of what I may say. Be very afraid. You will hear a pile of mixed metaphors and hyperboles. What better way to celebrate our friend.

Now listen.. .carefully.

Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place,

I can feel His mighty power and his grace.

I can hear the brush of angel’s wings, I see glory on each face.

Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.

Surely the Spirit of the lord is here in love,

And it brings God’s peace as quiet as a dove.

I can see the glow of angel’s wings shining brightly from above.

Surely the Spirit of the Lord is here in love.

Surely the blessing of the lord is in our hearts,

It’s here when we’re together or apart.

Now I feel the rush of angel’s wings and I know how great Thou art.

Surely the Spirit of the Lord is in our hearts.

Can’t you feel the rush of angel’s wings? I can. We are wrapped in angel’s wings.

Today there is one more presence. Feel the rush of angel wings. . .feel Steve’s presence.

There aren’t many times when those in one room are all the people who love you. This is a great celebration of a great life.

Through our sadness, we are here to celebrate Steve Pickett’s life and love. Don’t try to make sense of what has happened.

Just remember and feel the angels’ wings.

Steve was: Loving husband, loving father, loving son, loving brother and loving uncle and

nephew. But, most of all, he was our friend, our teacher, and our helper. Did I mention that he was a little stubborn?

Steve was The ULTIMATE BOY SCOUT!

His politics may not have matched the present national group of boy scouts, but his life depicted the real boy scout.

Law:

Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedience, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.

Think of Steve ... he possessed all those qualities. But we would have to add strong to the list. Just think of how he would have handled any situation. Maybe we should add opinionated, stubborn ... but right about just about everything.

The Scout Motto:

Be prepared

Steve was prepared.. .not only for himself but for Cathy and the kids. And when I say kids I include all of us. He made our camp happen. Who do you think bought a trailer just for us at camp? Who do you think packed that trailer? Who do you think made plans for Vinny’ s wheelchair? And, how to get him to Camp Wingman? Steve!

The Scout Slogan:

Do a good turn daily.

Steve lived his life with good turns. There were many times when Steve didn’t know where or how Friends Together would get the funds to have a camp, but Steve would find the funds to make Christmas happen for 100 kids and families. He was always there when one of us was in the hospital. He was there when Camp Wingman needed help after the hurricane. He was there.

He lead in the background with his example... his calm support, his gentleness, his love, his proactive planning, and his stubbornness. He let all of us shine, while he kept out of sight and fixed our messes.

He was a Renaissance Man. Steve could do almost anything. He could build, tear down, create and he could discuss politics intelligently and calmly.. .a lot more calmly than the rest of us.. .and he could size up any situation.

To many of us, he was our hero.

Cathy, Glen, Tom, Julie, David, Vicki, Sheila, Nicole, Alesia and Glenn, Joe Lenox Smith, and all of Friends Together. We all knew what Steve did for us and for hundreds of people. We knew his love and his quiet strength.

BUT, Steve had heroes too. His heroes are here today.

Steve and I often talked about how we managed to survive. We talked about how lucky we were that we all had met. Steve was particularly thankful to support for Cathy and everything they did together. He talked a lot about our friends.

Bob Young... he saw you take on yet one more person to help. You

came to the rescue when it was the darkest.

Father Bill Yates.. .he admired your work and your happiness.

Brian, he was your cheerleader, but you taught him a lot about tenacity and courage.

Alice, he wondered at your strength and joy. He loved you as family.

Paula Dockery, she proved her passion and commitment and stood up for Friends Together while other politicians took the safe road.

Roger, your brilliance and your ability to keep your head when all around us were losing theirs. Your and Joy’s love and support for

Cathy and Lyndsy and Garrett

Thom, you love and commitment to the ride

Cathy, you were his strength. You inspired him daily. You were the Everyready Bunny and Timex all wrapped up into one package.

All of Friends Together. Too many to mention. Your love and support continues.

Steve taught us kindness and support.

When Steve and I walked into the same room at the same time with Cathy, who would have guessed that I would be witnessing the meeting of JOB and THE GOOD SEMARITAN. But, that moment changed my life. I was in the presence of goodness wrapped up in a bit of craziness. And, there has been a lot of craziness. But, Steve never doubted the impact of the quilt at Florida Southern. From that moment until last Monday, I witnessed Steve work day and night making all of our lives better. He continued to worry about our college students and their health. His partnership with Cathy turned into a beautiful loving relationship. And overnight, he had a family.. .Without missing a beat Steve became a leaning post for Garrett and Lyndsy. He was your inspiration and will always be your inspiration to achieve the highest goals. His push for both of you was simply for happiness because he realized that you already had the desire for good grades and education. He knew that you understood acceptance and love. He knew that Cathy, Joy and Roger had already planted those seeds.

Who was Steve Picket?

He was an artist. He could take your soul and show it to you.

He was a Renaissance Man.. .a little Michelangelo.

He loved beauty. He saw beauty everywhere, but especially in his plants. Just last week he was about to throw away a cactus that had not bloomed in six years. It should take weeks to form a bloom that only lasts a day or so and only bloom at night. When Glen Gary was leaving the other night, he stepped off the porch and walked to his car and immediately ran back and jumped onto the porch to announce that the night blooming cactus was in full bloom. Like Steve, that plant was a little stubborn too.

Steve was an amazing spiritual person.. .he simply got it! He never wore his religion on his sleeve. . . he lived a real Christian life.

We’ve all seen WWJD... what would Jesus do?

Well I will tell you.

Helped

Made Friends

Touched Lepers

Did not throw stones

Accepting

Calm

Peaceful

Determined

Meant what he said

Sounds a lot like Steve. Steve and I often talked about why these simple virtues couldn’t straighten out the world’s politics? We wondered why politics were so screwed up and caused people to judge, point fingers and hate instead of love~ But, Steve lived each day honoring these principles. WWJD was not a bracelet for him, he simply followed his heart.

But just like a good Hindu, Steve found God and love in everything and everybody. He did not let one philosophy block his love and understanding of people. His acceptance of life and how others lead their lives was a beautiful quality.

My comparison of Steve to these great people would amuse Steve. But reality is usually stranger than fiction.

Just like Moses (Mountain Top) spoke to God.

Steve on top of Kilimanjaro spoke to God.. .probably about us.

And like Jesus (Mountain Top)

Found truth and dedication early in life. Fought the devil.

Like Peter Steve was (Our rock).

He was always there when we needed him. He was our support. His great admiration for Father Bill and for Pastor Hugh and all of us was evident when he showed up just to help. Hurricanes and personal traumas never pushed him away, but drew him closer to us. Can you remember ever having to call Steve for help? He knew when to come. He knew when we hurt. Often we didn’t know it was Steve who cleaned up the mess or sat up worrying about us. We didn’t know that he sorted food and supplies or got the trailer to get the camp put together. He was just always there.. .in the background. His stubbornness paid off by having it his way which was the right way for all of us.

Like Will Rogers...

Never met a stranger

You have to Walk a mile in his shoes to understand him

Martin Luther. . .fat guy famous for nailing stuff to church doors and marrying a nun

Maybe Steve didn’t marry a nun.

Dinner discussions (lessons)

Great food

Often new faces

Never a stranger

I can’t tell you the times I’ve walked into Steve and Cathy’s to find a total stranger at the dinner table. Most, like the rest of us with some issue to discuss. There was always food and discussion and debate. Did I tell you that Steve was a little stubborn?

Martin Luther King... .community and non violence

Gandhi.. .peace

Mercutio. . .passion

Julia Chiles of the South

Southern Cook

Yes even southern cooks are gourmet

Only difference.. .he didn’t sample the cooking wine

Mother Theresa...

Poor

Helpless

In drag

Then, I guess, Steve was Michelangelo, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Julia Chiles and Mother Theresa all wrapped into one great package.

He was the quiet behind the scenes... the support for Cathy’s success.

By his example he taught us to Love unconditionally.

He had no prejudice.

A major thing that we will always remember is Steve’s hug and kiss. He really knew how to hug. He would hug us when he greeted us and he would always hug us when we left. He would kiss us and tell us that he loved us. He never missed telling us that.

Did I tell you he was Stubborn?

Love for Garrett and Lyndsy was stubborn and unfailing.

Love for his family ... nieces and nephews.. .uncle ... mother Lorraine.

Even though I don’t know his Callahan family, I know that the.. .fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. You made him what he was to all of us. You taught him well and supported him. He loved all of you. He never left the family land or your arms.

As we celebrate his life let’s remember he:

Loved children

Fought the bigger politically incorrect battle

Never ashamed of his work with HIV/AIDS

Boy scout leader

Appalachian trail

Teacher by example

Mission to Santo Domingo (???) ASK SHAWN

Loved to see Friends Together Succeed

Almost always in the background making it work

Expanded all of our families

Right now, Steve is talking to Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi and Jesus. He may be

laughing at us or bragging about us. But one thing for sure, he wants us to live life to the fullest.

He showed us the need to make everyday count. He is smiling and wanting us to smile with him.

His love and spirit remains....

Friends-Together. You are all family. Your love and admiration for Steve will never end. It is important that you follow his example and keep us together. One person cannot fill his shoes. It will take all of our family. God knows we have the diversity and the talent. But, we will now discover how much one person did and planned. Steve loved each one of you individually. He worried about you when you were sick; he made your Christmases exciting; and he encouraged you when you were down. Now, he wants you to grow and keep reaching for happiness with other friends.

More than anything Steve loved Cathy. He changed his life for Cathy and became a family man. He and I would discuss what was best for Cathy and then she would do what she was going to do anyway. Steve would always tell me that I could convince her to take care of herself and she would listen. He knew that wasn’t going to happen but we tried. Steve went to the top of the world for Cathy and loved her with a devotion too deep to describe. All he ever wanted was for Cathy, Lyndsy and Garrett to have happiness. We all loved Steve for loving Cathy and the kids.

Cathy, your loss and your grief are too great now to really comprehend the love around you. But, just like everything else, you will make it. You will shame us with your strength and your love. Lyndsy and Garrett, Steve will always be with you. His love and his teachings will follow you always. His examples will make you stronger and you will be able to love harder than most.

Passage from Grapes of Wrath:

Tom Joad, a wise man much like Steve and had some of the same principles. He

said:

“Whenever there’s a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Whenever there’s a cop beating up a guy, I’ll be there

I’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad and— I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry and they know supper’s ready.

And when our folks eat the stuff they raise and live in the houses they build—why, I’ll be there.”

Steve will always be there. He is part of each of us. Let’s celebrate his wonderful life and celebrate how lucky we were to have him be part of our lives. Let’s wrap ourselves in Steve’s love and remember his hug and his kiss on your necks.

Goodbye good friend.